The Downside of People Pleasing: How it Contributes to Stress and Impacts Mental Health
- Corrie Furner
- Sep 7, 2024
- 2 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
Growing up, I learned the importance of being caring, considerate, and kind towards others. While these values have served me well, as I transitioned into my teenage years and later into the workforce, add on a growing family, study, and life throwing a spanner in the works, saying yes to others (code for people pleasing) became unsustainable. Something had to change. Making a shift away from people-pleasing tendencies was key.
Prioritising the needs of others over our own can lead to physical and mental exhaustion. People-pleasing behaviour often stems from a fear of rejection, driving individuals to prioritise others' happiness at the expense of their own well-being. This pattern can result in difficulties in setting boundaries and advocating for oneself, leading to feelings of resentment, fatigue, and emotional strain.
Individuals caught in the people-pleasing cycle may find themselves agreeing to everything, even if it contradicts their values or causes personal inconvenience. This perpetual overcommitment and neglect of self-care can have detrimental effects on your mental and emotional health.
Moreover, the constant quest for external validation may create a dependency on others for self-worth, hindering the development of a strong sense of identity and self-esteem. Seeking validation from external sources can leave individuals feeling inadequate, anxious and stressed. This is something often talked about in individual counselling sessions for those with burnout, stress or depression too.
Breaking free from people-pleasing involves prioritising self-care, establishing boundaries, and showing self-compassion. By advocating for our needs and values, we can cultivate healthier relationships based on mutual respect and authenticity. True fulfilment comes from within, not from incessantly seeking approval from others.
Corrie xo
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