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The Downside of People Pleasing: How it contributes to stress and impacts mental health

Growing up, I learned the importance of being caring, considerate, and kind towards others. While these values have served me well, as I transitioned into my teenage years and later into the workforce, add on a growing family, study, and life throwing a spanner in the works, saying yes to others (code for people pleasing) became unsustainable. Something had to change. Making a shift away from people-pleasing tendencies was key.



Prioritising the needs of others over our own can lead to physical and mental exhaustion. People-pleasing behaviour often stems from a fear of rejection, driving individuals to prioritise others' happiness at the expense of their own well-being. This pattern can result in difficulties in setting boundaries and advocating for oneself, leading to feelings of resentment, fatigue, and emotional strain.


Individuals caught in the people-pleasing cycle may find themselves agreeing to everything, even if it contradicts their values or causes personal inconvenience. This perpetual overcommitment and neglect of self-care can have detrimental effects on your mental and emotional health.


Moreover, the constant quest for external validation may create a dependency on others for self-worth, hindering the development of a strong sense of identity and self-esteem. Seeking validation from external sources can leave individuals feeling inadequate, anxious and stressed.


Breaking free from people-pleasing involves prioritising self-care, establishing boundaries, and showing self-compassion. By advocating for our needs and values, we can cultivate healthier relationships based on mutual respect and authenticity. True fulfilment comes from within, not from incessantly seeking approval from others.










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