Struggling With Overthinking: A Guide to Better Manage Your Mind.

Our minds are constantly active - thoughts pop in and out all day long. Sometimes, our thinking helps us solve problems, make decisions and navigate life. Other times, it can hold us back, fuel anxiety, and keep us stuck in self-doubt. Understanding the difference between thoughts and thinking can help us take control of our mental patterns and create a healthier relationship with our minds.

When we overthink, we create confusion and doubt. When we learn strategies to stop overthinking our minds become clear and calm, we can better use our logical and emotional side of our brain because there is balance. Joseph Nguyen uses the following analogy, in his best-selling book Don't Believe Everything You Think, how muddy water settles when left alone and if we do this with our thinking our clarity returns. Instead of becoming overly engaged with out thoughts we observe what we are thinking and learn to let them go.

Thoughts vs. Thinking: What’s the Difference?

Nguyen explains,"Thoughts are like passing clouds – they come and go on their own. They are automatic and require no effort. A thought might be: "I should apply for that job" or “I want to learn how to paint”.

Thinking is what we do with those thoughts – it’s the active process of engaging with them, analysing, judging, or ruminating. Thinking might be: "I’m not good enough for that job. What if I fail? It’s too difficult, I don’t know where to start”.

You Don’t Have to Believe Everything You Think

Many of us assume that because we think something, it must be true. But our thinking is not factual - they are just mental events. In fact, research conducted by Penn State University found 91% of our thoughts (worries and anxieties) do not come true! Our minds make guesses, interpret situations, and create stories based on our past experiences, fears, and beliefs. For example, if you walk past a friend who doesn’t say hello, you might start thinking…"They must be mad at me." But that’s just one interpretation, it is not necessarily reality. Maybe they were distracted, having a bad day, or simply didn’t see you. By questioning our thoughts rather than immediately believing them, we create space for new perspectives and healthier responses.

How Thinking Influences Our Feelings

Understanding our thinking patterns is important because how we think affects how we feel. Our emotions don’t come out of nowhere—they are direct feedback from our thoughts. If we are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or self-doubting, it’s often a sign that we need to check in with what we’re thinking. For example, if you think “I’ll never get this right,” or “I can’t do this” you’ll likely feel frustrated or defeated. If you question and reframe your thinking, “I can do this” your emotions will begin to shift to hope and motivation.

The Power of Reframing: Designing Our Thinking

We can’t stop thoughts from popping into our heads, but we can take charge of our thinking. Instead of getting caught in negative spirals, to manage overthinking, we can choose to engage with thoughts in a way that serves us. Changing our thinking patterns takes time. First steps:

• Recognise that thoughts are automatic, but thinking is a choice.

• Challenge negative self-talk by asking: "Is what I am thinking really true?"

• Practice self-compassion: Would I speak to a close friend in this way?

• Shift perspective: How would I respond if a friend had this thought?

Final Thought: Your Thinking Can Be Your Friend or Foe

Many of our thought patterns developed as a survival tool at a different time in our lives. It is not always helpful for thriving in the here and now. Our brains are wired to protect us, which is why thinking often jumps to worst-case scenarios or self-doubt. But by managing our thinking - rather than letting it manage us - we can create more confidence, peace, and clarity in our lives.

I hope this helps, Corrie xo

References

LaFreniere, L.S. and Newman, M.G. (2019). Exposing Worry’s Deceit: Percentage of Untrue Worries in Generalized Anxiety Disorder Treatment. Behavior Therapy, 51(3). doi:https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2019.07.003

Nguyen, J. (2022). Don't Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking is the Beginning and Ending of Suffering, Authors Equity.